Preparing Your Child for Preschool Graduation

Preparing Your Child for Preschool Graduation

Preschool graduation is one of those things that some think to be silly – “Oh it’s just preschool!” they’ll say.

And I can’t help but question if they’ve ever had preschoolers, because let me tell you – the friendships they form at 4 or 5 years old are some of the sweetest, strongest bonds. It’s especially hard if their class will be going on to different kindergartens, which happens to be the case for my first born and his preschool classmates.

Now I’m by no means an expert in this area. In fact, as I’m writing this, we’re still five days away from graduation, but what better way to share my insight than in real time.

How to Prepare Your Child to Graduate from Preschool

preschool graduation transition help

Expect Big Emotions

One thing that I’ve noticed with all the little ones is that they’re all struggling in one way or another. One of the silliest in the class is suddenly somber. One of the calmest now acts out. And oh the tears…lots and lots of tears.

My son in particular has been exceptionally emotional, which is actually what prompted this post. This morning we were watching TV and one of those “save the dogs!!” commercials came on. I didn’t even realize he was paying attention until he started sobbing. We were able to talk it through and sure enough the root of it all is that he keeps thinking about graduation.

These little ones have some of the biggest emotions.

So if you’ve got a little one preparing for the end of the school year (even if s/he’s not graduating!), expect that their emotions may very well be harder to control than normal. Even those who cannot fully explain their feelings can sense a change coming in their routine. And let’s face it – change in routine is hard, no matter the age!

Preparing for Graduation Day

We’re very lucky in that our school does hold a small ceremony to celebrate those moving on to kindergarten. The program calls it a “Celebration of Our Stars.”

It’s very important to frame graduation day as just that – a celebration.

Because let’s be honest, the preschoolers aren’t going to be the only ones struggling with their emotions. So while there will almost certainly be tears (heck, I can’t even get through this post without crying!) it’s important to remember what a fun day it’ll be.

Whether it’s a full cap-and-gown ceremony or a simple potluck-style celebration, it’s sure to be a memorable day for everyone. Talk to your little one about what to expect on the day of. While the teacher will of course be walking them through the set-up of the day, you really can’t go wrong reinforcing the expectations.

Preschool Celebration Ideas

Whether your school is doing an actual graduation or not, there are many ways to celebrate! Honestly one of the best ways to help with the transition from school to summer is to commemorate it as a family.

If you have a big family or friends looking to join in the celebration, potluck is always a great way to go. If your school isn’t doing an actual graduation ceremony, you could also reach out to the parents of the other kids to see if they want to potluck together.

A slideshow is also a fun way to celebrate. It doesn’t have to be something super time-consuming, especially if you already have an album (on Facebook or otherwise) that’s documented some of their best times at school.

And even though this site is about leading you to a richer life, I do recommend you consider buying a small gift for your child to celebrate the day. If they’re moving on to kindergarten, consider taking them to pick out their backpack for next year. Books are of course also a great route to take!

Regardless of how you celebrate the day, don’t forget to take a moment to soak it all in. If these last five years have taught me anything, it’s that time really does go by so much faster than any of us ever realize.

Quote box with the days are long but the years are short

Do you remember the day you graduated preschool?

Comment below, I’d love for you to share your memories!

Mind the Mom Gap: Overcoming Loneliness as a Mother

Mind the Mom Gap: Overcoming Loneliness as a Mother

Loneliness as a mom isn’t a new concept, but when you are alone, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that you’re the only one.

A few years ago, when our son was only 6 months old, my husband and I made the choice to have a second child. Why get used to sleep again, right? And while I’d never ever change the choices made, I also never realized I’d be trapped…in the mom gap.

It all started the other night as I scrolled across a Facebook post about a sorority sister being in town for our college’s homecoming, she and another sister had gone out to one of our favorite local breweries.

First, I was jealous.

Then a little bit angry.

And most definitely hurt.

Now I’m not so conceited to feel they should have automatically invited me along, but they’d both just been in my wedding a month prior and neither could make it to my 30th birthday a couple weeks ago, so I was a bit hurt. Maybe I was just being dramatic, though, so I messaged a mutual friend to ask her as much.

And that’s when she introduced me to the term “mom gap.”

Apparently “mom gap” is used to explain why childless friends might not think to invite their mom friends along on weekend shenanigans – it’s nothing malicious, but rather they simply don’t think about it, because you have kids and therefore you’re almost certainly busy.

“Oh they’re not being mean, they literally just don’t think about you.”

Given that I was either pregnant or breastfeeding for four years straight, I get that I’m not anyone’s first choice when it comes to thinking of someone to grab a drink with; I knew that becoming a mom meant saying goodbye to the girl I once was and to the boobs I once had but I guess I didn’t quite realize it also meant saying goodbye to the friendships I was used to.

When I woke up the next morning, again seeing posts on the fun my friends were having this weekend, I realized that the anger and jealousy were really only there because they were easier to face than what I was really feeling — lonely.

When I quit my job last April to run my own online business, I knew there would be obstacles to overcome (aren’t there always?) but I never thought that loneliness would the worst of ’em.

I truly believe that being a stay-at-home/work-at-home mom is one of the loneliest jobs in the world. 

It does get easier as they get old – at least I hope so – but treading water in the mean time can be exhausting.

I started asking around my favorite Facebook groups morning and almost every work-at-home/stay-at-home parent I spoke to said they get less than 5 (and often 0) hours of adult interaction each week. Heh at least we’re not alone in our loneliness, right?

If you’re on my e-mail list, you may have read my e-mail last month about how I’ve started working to overcome the emotional struggles that have (mostly) stemmed from being a work-at-home mom. (missed it? Check it out here!)

Within that e-mail, I wrote about how I literally didn’t leave my house for 30 days straight, save for going a few steps down the street twice a week to pick up my babies from daycare. And oh my gosh, the number of e-mails I got back saying “Been there!” “This is me!” or “It’s been TWO months for me…” It was just so eye-opening, comforting, and heartbreaking all at once.

I found comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone, but sadness in that there are so (SO!) many other women (and men) out there struggling with the “mom gap” and similar issues of loneliness. I had literally dozens of people asking me how I’ve started to better my own situation and while I’ve personally responded to all of them, I did promise to go deeper into what I’ve done to make a change.

The first step is of course ACCEPTANCE —

Accept that you NEED a tribe. Believe me, I get it, we want to show the world we can do it all on our own and we’re super women and yada yada. I’m a stubborn control freak, so I know how hard it is to say “I need help” but we do. And that’s not a bad thing.

Also accept that times have changed and we have to work harder to form said tribes. With the “miracle of technology” that is social media, we feel connected to our friends at all times, even when we’re not. So going back to the “mom gap” thing, it may not be that your friends are ignoring you, but rather they just don’t realize how disconnected from you they actually are. This leaves you with two choices – make that first step to reconnect or accept that you’re in different life stages and it’s time to work on building new connections with new friends.

Then LOVE (yourself) —

When was the last time you gave yourself space to just enjoy the company that is you? I know that being alone isn’t exactly a great cure for loneliness, but hear me out. If you have young children at home, you’re all the more likely to be wildly unfamiliar with this new person that you are outside of being a parent. It’s so easy to become lost in the life that is parenthood, even if you’re lucky enough to have a strong partner and/or family help. It’s already hard to make friends as an adult, don’t make it any more difficult by feeling like a stranger to yourself.

Find the joy —

Try to remember the beauty that is this season. I know how hard it is to feel grateful when you’re constantly bouncing between a dark shroud of loneliness and the guilt that comes from having fun on the rare occasion you’re without kids, but look for the joy. Take a few moments before bed each night to journal out a bright spot of your day, even if all it was was you putting your bra on this morning. You could also take a couple minutes to write letters to your babies in journals of their own, something for them to read as they grow older. It may not seem like much, but spending just five minutes every day focusing on the good can make all the difference during times of bad.

Know that social media is a lie —

As an online entrepreneur, I’m well aware that we often only post the good. If you were to look at my Facebook, you’ll see photos of my beautiful children hugging, a clutter-free playroom, and healthy meal choices made.

What you don’t see is that they spent the last ten hours screaming at each other, the clutter is hiding behind me, and they threw that healthy meal on the floor while crying for corn dogs.

Likewise, when you see a friend posting statuses on the fun and free weekend they’re having, remind yourself that you don’t know the whole story (particularly if we circle back to feeling connected without actual connections). You can’t know the struggles someone else is experiencing unless you ask them and they can’t know yours unless you tell them. Rarely do we show the whole truth online or off, but if we at least recognize that fact, maybe we can begin our climb out of the “mom gap” and away from the loneliness that surrounds us.

 

You. Are. Not. Alone.

Maybe you know me. Maybe you don’t. But either way — know you’re not alone.

Going back to our social media point, I know that it can be easy to look at someone online and think there’s no way they can relate. I recognize how blessed I am to be able to make a significant income while not having to put on pants or even brush my hair, but don’t let that fool you into thinking things are easy.

This blog post, for example, took me an entire morning to write (and mind you, I type nearly 100 WPM with a 98% accuracy).

What you can’t see behind the screen is my high-needs daughter wanting to be in my lap every two minutes —

See what I mean about not brushing my hair?

She’s in a different shirt because she “needed” to take a bath this morning.

> Have you read the med- free birth story of my daughter? It was AMAZING! <

And again, please let me reiterate — I would not change having my babies for ANYTHING in the world. There’s no doubt you feel the same, we all love our babies more than anything, but I bring it back up because I need you to recognize for yourself that it’s okay to say “I’m lonely” without then feeling guilty for it because you think you “should” feel something else.

We’re human. We feel. And that’s a beautiful thing.

 

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