Indecisiveness is a beast, isn’t it? I don’t know about you, but I definitely sometimes struggle with making decisions! Like you KNOW what you’re SUPPOSED to do, but not exactly how you go about doing it? Sure it’s easy to say you need to lose a few pounds, but then there’s a chocolate cake sitting in the break room and you’re in a bad mood and….mfftmmf….(that’s me eating cake. We all struggle!)
So today, we’ve got the lovely Amy Shefik from The Fierce Flamingo to talk to us about making decisions and how to tackle the sometimes overwhelming route that takes us from good to better.
What would happen if you started to make decisions from where you wanna be instead of from where you are now?
Does that sound like a weird concept?? Stick with me…
I started out finding it pretty easy to make decisions. I was always quite clear and confident about what I wanted and just kinda went for it. This was all working out really well for me until I realized that all those decisions I had been making so easily and confidently had led me to a place where I wasn’t actually very happy. Unfortunately this resulted in a loss of confidence in my ability to make good decisions.
I started to find it really difficult to make any decisions at all, I procrastinated and kept looking at worst case scenarios. I was worrying that I would make the wrong choice, even when it came down to what to have for dinner or what movie to watch. I didn’t want to “fail” and be disappointed or let anyone down. And if I couldn’t even decide what to have for dinner I was definitely having a hard time deciding on what to do with my life!!
I was so focused on all the reasons not to do something, all the ways in which I could fail that I didn’t think about the other side of the coin. What about all the ways I could succeed, what would that feel like? What about all the ways my decisions could have a positive impact on those around me?
Because I had lost my ability to make decisions I ended up feeling very stuck. I would just go back and forth between options unable/unwilling to commit for fear of choosing the “wrong” thing. This made me feel really anxious and frustrated. I was so annoyed at myself for not being able to handle even the smallest of choices without having a near existential crisis, I mean come on woman sort it out!
This went on for a while until I discovered coaching and mindset work. There have been so many incredible a-ha moments for me since then, but one of the really powerful insights about decision making is the question I asked at the beginning of this article.
What if you started making decisions from where you wanna be instead of from where you are now?
Just think about that for a second. I mean whatever it is you’re trying to do or improve upon, if you were to start making your decisions from where you wanna be just imagine how quickly you’d progress. How you wouldn’t be letting fear hold you back because you would know that in order to achieve you have to take action.
How much would incorporating this practice into your life cut down on the amount you procrastinate over decisions? How much focus and courage would it generate? How much success would you experience?
Since I have started do this in my life I no longer waste time delving into all the possible terrible outcomes or ways in which I could fail. Instead I am more focused on why it’s a good decision and while I am filling my thoughts with all the positive outcomes, I know that if I do fail it’s just a stepping stone to success.
It’s like Thomas Edison said when asked how he felt about having 1,000 failed attempts at inventing the light bulb. He said, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”
About the Author: My name is Amy Shefik and I’m a Personal Development Coach for the person in their 20s, 30s or 40s struggling with anxiety and frustration over the lack of clarity and direction they have about their life. My mission is to show that this doesn’t have to be their life, that they can be happy and fulfilled. I want to find out what success means to them and help make that their reality.
Find Amy on Facebook or check out her website The Fierce Flamingo!